Written by Matt Wilson

This is a notice on train etiquette designed for adults as well as school children (ages 15-45). Now let us begin:


1. This is a very vague subject so I shall sprawl deeper into the topic
– For those in groups keep voices to a dull whisper I don’t care what boy likes you (directed at 16yr old girls and private school boys)
– For those girls/ young guys, your voice is probably high pitched. An enclosed space is not the place to raise your voice, its already screechy enough, your friends know this, and the rest of the train doesn’t need to know this fact about you.
– If you are in a group of 4 or more only let one person speak at once, this makes it easier for people to listen in and quit downs the train (even though your conversation isn’t interesting either)


2. If you are extremely tall or larger stature good for you or bad either way, it doesn’t give you the permission to take up 3 seats.
3. Those shorter of us, don’t over compensate by carrying everything either in your hands or on your back, I’m pretty sure the ground will hold it to, you guys are not turtles you do no need to keep your whole life on your back.

Mobile phones/ palm pilots and any Ridiculous device that runs your life

4. These things are handy in life, but I don’t need to be able to hear the sound of the other person’s voice on a phone/ sound of a musician/ sound of you wining solitaire.


5. No talking without pants on, this doesn’t relate to trains necessarily but to normal everyday life, tis real handy. Abide by it at all cost


6. This particular topic relates to the older generation:
– No, the students don’t pay full fare. But why do you deserve a seat. You probably take fewer stops and you still complain more than others. I have a few pills for you. . . Harden the fuck up pills, stop being princesses and stand for the 10-45 mins because no doubt you are going to an office to sit on your ass for 5-9 hours
7. Being older doesn’t stop you saying please/ thank you for those moving out of your way, and here’s an idea ask for the fucking seat, don’t expect it, get off your (insert profanity) high horse. 9/10 if you ask politely the student will be polite back

Give me a bell if more things should be added and I will get to it.