Now the when browsing along the news updates in yahoo’s homepage, on occasion is featured a link to the most popular search bar results. Here were the results for 2007:

Now most of the results were forgivable. But the most searched term for 2007 -BRITNEY SPEARS – phases me. Now I realise that the average person will not cure cancer, that’s ok. But why such a large number of people would search up society’s biggest failure still puzzles me to this day. Here are a few of my theories as to why this has been the case:

Theory 1: Perez Hilton fans

Now the world’s most popular celebrity blogger, it is understandable how Britney became the world’s most searched person in 2007. I can see it in my mind now. A plethora of blonde bimbos staring at their apple keyboards (which matches with the decore) trying to figure out how to spell Britney’s names. But if that is the case – and they really are that, let’s say, unintelligent… OK, PLAIN STUPID – then how on earth could Britney have been the most searched term of 2007.

Another type of Perez Hilton fan comes in the form of several Emmy awards. Yes, I am grateful that my mother is not one of them, but the desperate housewife category presents a large demographic in any country – apart from developing nations, who don’t even have access tot he internet. This makes more sense than the blonde, Paris Hilton type bimbos. Yes, they have some degree of education so I’m sure that they can tyoe in the two words ‘Britney’ and ‘Spears’. And I guess that reading the weekly celebrity magazine isn’t enough for them, so resorting to the internet for the latest celeb gossip seems the more rational alternative. Although they present a large demographic, there are more prevalent groups in societies – and not all wives fit into this category.

There is one type of Perez Hilton fan that we must not forget, and that is of course the Teenage girl. This category can overlap witht he bimbos and cheerleaders and any other stereotype you can think of that has an IQ between 0 and 30. Now the blonde teenager (or any other colored hair for that matter) is an interesting phase. Some grow out of it – but for the unfortunate, they are plagued with this doom for eternity until botox and implants just won’t work anymore. But searching for one of their most famed idols explains a large portion of the influx of Britney searches. And with the onset of Technology, teenagers are now accessing new social networking sites and blogs such as Myspace and perez Hilton.

Theory 2: Horny males

Yes, no guy wishes to admit the truth about their sexual desires, but for those with a low IQ this is a grim reality. Searching for the terms ‘Britney’ and ‘Spears’ no doubt returns with several results along the lines of Britney spears naked nude photos CLICK HERE. Now, this presents a clear explanation of the amount of searches for Britney. And with the ever increasing number of grown men throughout society admitting to sexual addictions, this is a clear cut answer to my question.

It is my most fervent hope that you, as intelligent readers, restrain yourselves from searching up rediculous terms such as Britney Spears. It’s ok to read about the doings of such people – I’m secretly in love with Natalie Portman. But just remember, if you do such things, you will fall into the aforementioned categories of dumbass female, or porn addicted male.

Until next time, eat your meat loaf with a spoon.

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